they need to just BURY HIM!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
