I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
