I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
