giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
