White coat. Heels.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
