have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
