K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
