They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
