as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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