Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
zippers are such a cool invention
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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