nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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