How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
