Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
