I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
