Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
