drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
