lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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