it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
