Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
