I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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