He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
