I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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