I have demons in me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
