Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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