508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize