There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
