After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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