So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
