I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
