he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
