there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
