I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
