I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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