So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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