careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize