Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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