She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We don't watch enough power rangers
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
