I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
