so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
