I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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