Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
