I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think people are normalizing furries
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
