some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize