Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
