Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
