So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
