I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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