every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
