Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
