that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
