five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
