Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was like eating out sand paper
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
