Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize