i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
