Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
