You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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