Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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