my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Fuck appropriateness.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After tacos, we're chasing women.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
