Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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