I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
