You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
