normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
