pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
